Friday, January 14, 2011

Flu Diet...

It's the New Year...  I'm finally starting to heal from my injuries... I'm slowly building momentum at the gym... And then *POW* I'm hit with a near fatal strain of the flu...  great timing!  I fever/metabolism + low appetite = huge weight loss!!!   I've managed to lose about 7 pounds over the last 10 days.

Anyway, in the absense of any new running/mustache updates to report I'm going to post an e-mail correspondence between my friend Jay and a headhunter because I'm feeling a little bitter right now and it amused me...

Original Headhunter e-mail:
Hi John,
Hope you're enjoying the New Year! I'm reaching out to check on your job status. Are you actively looking for a new job or trying to figure out how to be happier in your current job? CareerBliss can help you. If you're ready to find a better job, then…

Check out jobs at CareerBliss' 50 Happiest Companies in America (see these companies and their job openings). Search from more than 2,000,000 jobs that need to be filled right away.
If you're not sure it's time for a career move, use our BlissFinder tool to find out and compare your job satisfaction to others, then…

Search for better jobs near your area.  Look up salaries to see what you should be earning in 2011. Research company reviews to see what employees are saying about their companies. Post a review on your most recent employers (Don't worry, it's anonymous).

As the economy is improving, we can help you get on a happier career path this New Year. Cheers! Heidi Golledge

Chief Happiness Officer
My friend Jay's response:

I left the United States because the economy sucks. The job market is continuously bleak. People in sales positions are constantly hounded by unreasonable quotas from management who are in turn hounded by unreasonable quotas from upper management. Upper management is in turn responsible for a division number to a VP. The VP's are usually the biggest assholes out of everyone. More often than not they haven't sold anything in a long time except their souls - or their own company stock - things that used to be intertwined in American business but are now equally pitiful. No good business will take anyone that's been out of work for too long unless they want to pick up a phone and cold call strangers - which never works. Why the hell would anybody buy anything from a stranger? I live overseas as a teacher having abandoned the American Dream because it is a farce unless you're willing to sell out or you're a cocksucker. I'm not sure how long you've had your title as "Chief Happiness Officer" and I sure don't mean to sprinkle a bit of winter slush upon your day of sunshine. But I'm sure you will fail to meet your quota any day now. When this happens your ass will be on the unemployment line wondering what ever possessed you to think you ever deserved a share of that American Dream. So take me off your list.
All the best!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2011 new year's resolution obligatory post...

Wow... 2011... I think this is my first time actually typing the year... it's always a little sureal when you have to recondition your mind to remember that it's a whole New Year when you date documents; but 2011!!! That's just doesn't seem right. That's like the future, man?!?
Anyway, since it's a brand new year I felt like I should try to come up with some kind of resolution and after thinking long and hard about it I decided to its finally time in my life to get up off my lazy ass and grow myself a mustache… I know it’s going to be tough, but since I already started growing a winter beard back in early November I have no doubt that I will ultimately prevail… Wish me luck!