In my previous post I recapped about how I was defeated, shamed, and humiliated at the hands of my running nemesis, Robbie...
Unfortunately for me, my 5k racing failure was only the start of the humiliation that I experienced on that fateful day...
The next chapter in this spiral of shame starts almost immediately following the conclusion of my 5k... I just got bested by my arch foe, my clothes are soaking wet from running in the rain, and I'm freezing cold... Of course I can't leave the race because we have to wait for the awards ceremony... and to make matters worse there's still a 2k that has to be run before before the awards are announced...
And that's when I get my brilliant idea: I'll run the 2k!!! Since I spend most of my efforts training for longer distance events my body recovered from the 5k almost immediately... Great, I'll get in a little extra speedwork and mileage for the day, I'll set a automatic PR for a 2k, plus I'll stay warm and kill some time before the award ceremony... What could possibly go wrong? So, I negotiate a reduced rate entry for the 2k since I already ran the 5k, swapped out my race bib, and I was ready to go...
At 10 o'clock they announce that the 2k is going to start and I head over to the start line to scope out the competition... and that's when the humiliation begins... I'm the only adult registered for the race!!!
At that point I considered just going back to the shelter of the gazebo and not running (which is what I should have done in hind sight)... but WTF, I had already shelled out 15 bucks for the race, plus I really did want to get in a little bit of extra quality running... so I decided I'll just line up behind the kids (not that I really had a choice) and there'd probably be a least a couple of kids who could run sub 7 minute pace for a 2k and I'd just stay behind them...
The gun goes off and the kids take off sprinting... and I follow behind at a 7:30ish pace... And of course after about 100 meters most of them either slow way down or stop entirely... and next thing I know I'm in 10th place... so I slow down to a 8 minute pace... but even then kids keep dropping off 1 by 1 and next thing I know I'm in 3rd place...
So now it's just me with a couple of 10 year olds about 20 feet ahead of me... and now we exiting the park, and there's cops and firemen on every turn directing the race, and I'm running past them surrounded by kids with a big shit eating grin on my face and feeling like a complete ass!!!
By now I'm down to a 9 minute mile pace because I don't want to win this race and take the opportunity away from one of these kids...And then one of the 2 kids in front of me stops to ties his shoe... and now I'm in 2nd place... so finally I just stop, get off to the side of the course, wait till about 20 of the kids pass by and then start walking... and when the course finally gets back to the gazebo I drop out and head for shelter.
Man, what a disaster! The only saving grace from the whole fiasco was that my friend Scott, who had been taking pictures, had ran back to his house to pick up my wife (she didn't initially go with us because she wanted to sleep in) so at least I don't have any pictures of my shaming (although they would be pretty funny)...
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hahahahahahaha. awesome. just awesome. a dnf, way to go.
ReplyDeleteWay to go man. I am surprised with you being the only adult that the people at the registry did not tell you the scoop. I bet THEY were laughing there asses off. That's why they gave you the discount. lol. Great post man, it made my day. Good thing you didn't sign up for the baby .1 k. lol. Take care man.
ReplyDeleteThis cracked me up! I sorta like you and your stories ... except, I'm mad at you too for calling me crazy. Yes I named my Garmin, I name everything for one reason: The computer asks for a name for the device when you plug it in. She cost enough money that I'll name it whatever I want!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAAHAHA. THIS is awesome. I've ALMOST done the same thing in a mile race - but I looked at the previous year's results before hand (something you couldn't have done of course). Too funny, but good call not 'winning'
ReplyDeleteThat's freaking hilarious! I thought you would just go and take the win since it's like right there! I guess a DNF was probably the better call! Awesome story though.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny, it's gotta be one of the funniest things I've read in a while.
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