Monday, August 23, 2010

My new passion!!!

About 15 months ago I took up running... I did it to whip myself into shape, to re-energize myself, to challenge myself, and to cross marathon off my bucket list... I hit the pavement with a passion and quickly fell head over heels in love with running; I was infatuated!!!

For months and months I gave my life to running... I didn't eat - I fueled... I didn't drink - I rehydrate...  polyester became my go to fabric of choice (and not just for pickin' up the ladies)...  I read blogs, magazines, websites, forums, and even books about running...

But like many good relationships the initial passion that running and I shared started to fizzle.  I started to begrudge the fact that I'd have to go out and spend my precious free time with running...  Running must have sensed my resentment and as backlash induced pain and suffering into my runs... the time we spent together became less and less fun, until eventually I began to hate running... finally, the pain became too much to bare and I stopped running all together!

And that's when I found my new passion...  sitting around on my ass!!!

A great thing about my new passion is that I have a whole new attitude about life...Everyone expects runners to be energized, active, and full of life. This is not the case for sit-around-on-your-assers... now I can sit around and be in the most depressest, foulest, grumpiest mood imaginable and nobody bats and eye... it's fuckin' great!!!!

Another thing about my new passion is that it's really improved my relationship with my wife... my wife used to quickly grow tired of me constantly talking about running... she'd hate when I wake up early on the weekends to squeeze in a long run on when we could be snuggled under the blankets, sleeping in... Now things are much better... here's a little look into our new home life:


     Wifey:  "Honey, the lawn needs mowed, the dishes are dirty, and the trash needs taken out..."

     Me:  "Not now, I'm busy sitting around on my ass..."

     Wifey: "Oh sorry.  Never mind, I'll take care of it"

Yep, we're communicating like never before... plus, sitting around on our asses is something we can do together... not only that, but nobody expects people who sit around on their asses to complete things that they finish... in fact, it's a victory to even start something... just like this blog post!

17 comments:

  1. How does one measure their success in sitting-around-on-your-ass? How do you determine your SAOYA PR? How does one prevent ass-chafing? Do you still need to put band-aids on your nipples when fully engaged in SAOYA, or is that just awkward?
    Inquiring minds want to know.
    Hope the injuries are coming around.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so great. I'm pretty sure you are kidding and that your humor is parched dry. If I'm right, please refer to my first sentence.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad to hear you've taken up a new hobby. Now heal up already!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damn, E. This sucks.

    Hilarious post, but I'm detecting some sarcastic undertones...

    ReplyDelete
  5. isn't it amazing? don't forget the bowls of ice cream, m&m's, cookies, mac 'n cheese... those really exemplify the awesomeness of ass-sitting.

    now as far as that picture, i don't recall giving you authorization to post photos of me on your blog...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, man. That was my hobby from November through May. I hope you continue to recover quickly!

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's my before picture ...

    Please keep monitoring my blog and tell me when this sets in. I can't wait, it's only been about 90 days of running so far.

    runningmanwannabe.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sounds like you're mastering this new passion! Just don't let it get to Jabba the Hut level- get better!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This post was freaking hilarious... I, too suffer from bout of "sitting on my ass" disease every now and then. Get better, and get out there! The world doesn't need any more big asses.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Get better and get off your A**!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Do you measure your sitting on your ass time or just do it? THat is great. Hey, just think, you are still burning calories too. unless you are stuffing yourself with more than your body can burn off. Take care man and have fun on your ass.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for letting me sit on my ass while I read this.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Maybe it's time to rethink this whole running thing ... Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Seriously funny but seriously, you gotta get up before the ass chafing starts!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Glad your humour hasn't been dappened by your injury! Enjoy it now ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Running is a bit of a bore, but dude if you get Plantar Assitis, you might regret making wifey do all the household chores.

    ReplyDelete